Reflection
by tracy-kins
Summary: Believing in too many lies can make you truly oblivious to things that are clear to others. [ One-shot, SasuNaru ]


( **R e f l e c t i o n **)

Huh. Wow another angst little one-shot, who...knew. It comes easier to me I guess? Wrote this a long time ago, about five months now. Just decided to tweak it a bit, I realized this is one of my best works _ever_ and that saddens me. From now on, anything I write will be compared to this, I hope that I can meet up to these standards one day. Forgive my grammar/spelling errors if there are any. Microsoft Word has left me, so WordPad is my friend now.

Warnings? Saa...maybe...the fact that this is a boy x boy pairing? Yes, yes. It's a shonen-ai based one-shot. Not your cup of tea? Feel free to leave in a frightened and disgusted fit and read some of your favorite hetrosexual ficlets. Though if you aren't a big fan of shonen-ai, and want to be curious, be my guest. Hints of lemon, but they are _very_ subtle. Sorry my yaoi-lover, I'm not fully experienced at writing full-blown lemons just yet. Maybe in the future, or maybe a lime someday? Uh yeah, that's...that's pretty much it. Please read and enjoy yourself with my angst-y little creation here. Done in Naruto POV.

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So there we stood.  
On two different sides of the river.

Staring at our reflections in the calm waters. Everything was silent, only the sound of the wind rustling the evergreen leaves on the tree echoed softly. Had everything really changed that much? I wonder how often the grounds of friendship can feel so hostile. Wordlessly, we stood there, gazing at one another, and our reflections. Was this what you wanted to see? A boy who strived to be perfection to match up to his brother and to one day avenge his clan? Or did you want to see something else, something _deeper_. That you and I know, we both cannot deny. You wanted to smash the facsimile as if it was glass. But in the end, you couldn't. Because like the water, it is a part of you, and no matter how much you try it will always run through your veins and no matter how much you try to destroy it. It will only break for a moment before recollecting it's self again. Always it will stay, calmly staring back at you.

I knew you better, and I knew that you could never accept that. That's why you went to _him_ isn't it?

To shatter everything that associated with who you _were_. Che. And you call me a fool. Maybe I was...I mean I went after you didn't it? I guess that makes us both idiots. But I don't care. I can accept it. Unlike you. So now that we're here...Tell me...how the hell we ended up like this. Humor me on the story of why you just slammed me against the tree and captured my lips like a starved man. Feed me the antics of why you tricked me into believing that this relationship was enough for you to stay.

Because it **wasn't**.

You still went after him, you still had that ambition to kill your brother. And I couldn't change that could I? No one could. I knew this. Yeah, I did. Even if you made me drown in your hot kisses and sweet touches, there was a voice in the back of my head screaming, pleading for me to stop this before it went too far.

But oh no, I was already in too deep. Knee-high in something I knew I could never turn back on. And I liked it. But you need to explain it to me one more time, because I don't think I heard you well enough the last time. Why you kept coming back and hypnotizing me with your seductive ways, even if it was just for one night. You had my knees weak and shaking, you knew that and you took a sadistic pleasure in it. Bastard. Maybe I can explain to myself why, because you can't. We both wanted something we couldn't have, we were playing with fire, Uchiha. And we didn't care. Because it was like a dose of heaven, everything was in a dizzy haze.

And for once, you and I could just let go and indulge in our sinful addictions.

We could have something that we longed for, without having to throw away our other dreams just to focus on this one. And I would never admit it to you, but...inside I wished that this relationship could be real instead of always resulting as various pleasurable one-night stands. I wished for this to be real, but when morning arose, the bed was empty. Just like me. As morning came to, I would once again find my wishes unfufilled.

So, if I told you, would you stay? Would you hold me as we watch the sun rise into the sky like you did when the stars shone brightly? Or would I be tossed like yesterday's trash and be given hollow promises of tomorrow like so many times before? Often, I'd find myself wistfully lying in bed, taking in your scent of sugar and spice and pretend it was really you instead of an empty space that was there.

Exactly _when_ were you going to be there like you would whisper to me every night? When would you come and rescue me from this hell like you promised so many times or was that a lie too? I'm such an idiot...I truly am. Even though I know deep in my heart that those sweet words whispered into my ear are only thin wisps of air, I wanted to believe in you.

Because I _loved_ you.

Or at least I thought I did. But maybe that too was just a figment of my imagination because I wanted this to be more than it was. I know. I should have fought you, I should have pushed you off and asked you to leave before anything happened. Before our addiction grew and our tragic ending was written out by the hands of Fate. I know, Sasuke, I _know_. But is it so wrong to for once want to know what it felt like to be held in strong arms and just lean back knowing it'll be alright, even though it wasn't? Or was it because I was who I am. The _Kyuubi no Kitsune_.

Each night with you leading me closer to my end. Each caress drowing me more into these murky waters of my pretend paradise. Each morning causing one more crack in the mask I held to my face hiding the real me on the inside. Soon it will all come to a halt. And shatter.

You know...Iused to be able to accept this. Because even fake love was enough right? Not anymore. Because somehow, my perspective just completely changed. What was once clear became hazy. The unseen was revealed before my eyes, leaving me to wonder why I didn't see this before. Like a blindfold was taken off, while another was sealed on, what I never understood became apparent and what I thought I knew became stranger than the question it's self.

But once removed, the tinted glass, everything reverts.

And it's normal again. Yeah _normal_. Yet, I would find myself always trying to find that missing piece. Trying to fill the hole that was ripping through the illusions you and I built together. Always, it would slip through my fingers like water and I wonder...if it was meant to be.

The gap is growing wider, the darkness is eatting me up inside. And no matter how hard I tried to grasp onto the only substance I had left, I found myself sinking into the dark abyss. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to save me, but they...just stood there. Conversing happily as if nothing was wrong. _As if the void was filled_.

Even so, in my so-called 'perfect utopia'; I sunk deeper and deeper. As I went to my death, I could only see dark coal eyes molding into my own, as if taunting me. It was the end and I knew it. I knew that it was coming. And as the truth bit you, as it did me, I knew that you would be enraged. And you would stand there, shaking in anger, your eyes showing nothing, but betrayal and hatred. And I would stand there. Your hands will tremble yet clench into fists, your eyes will contort into rage as they force to keep the Sharingan down; your lips pressed into a hard line. But you say nothing.

You say _nothing_.

But the silence is enough to cut deep wounds into my arms and create rivers of never-ending crimson. And tears will slide in slow-motion down your cheeks, just they will down mine. And it is then, I...no _we_ know that when this day comes nothing, but _nothing _will ever repair this relationship. It would never be the same. The fantasies of our once perfect world shattering like a supernova. Painful as glass shards, only traces of it's beauty left. And nothing could ever bring it back.

It's a part of us now. Just like the water that ran so calmly through the stream. Our friendship, tattered and torn, it would fade away as you and I part. Only the wounds and memories of a once beautiful creation from the both of us will be left. But that is okay, because that is enough. But for how long?

So there we stood.  
On two different sides of the river.

Staring at each other, wordless. The pain and weariness from our time reflecting in our eyes, we have nothing left to say. It's gone now. I turned my back knowing this was our goodbye. And there will never be a next time. Because this truly was the end. It's...ironic now that I think about it. Because we are so alike...no we _were_ so alike. From two different worlds, from two different places in life, yet somehow our destinies entertwined. And for a short time, we experienced short, but true happiness.

And that's okay...because some people never do.

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What did you think? It might not be just a one-shot, I might link it with a Sasuke POV to go along with this. Sadly, I don't believe there will be a happy ending for this -dodges knives and tomatoes- I was never a big fan of happy endings really...a tragic ending is better for this kind of story though, right? Thank you for taking your time to read. I apologize in advance if this made you teary-eyed or something or if you expected a sweeter ending.

Now go and indulge in fluffier readings and click the purple-ish 'go' button to review -sweatdrop-


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